Time to take off my pants.

So there I am, this time fully clothed, when the door bell rings. I go to answer it, and it's this hot russian/bulgarian chick at the door. She asks to see my mom, and a few moments later I find out that she's the new cleaning lady. She's even hotter than the asian realtor. This never fucking happens to me. I was so horny I was prepared to beat off right then and there. No matter for spillage; after all, she is the cleaning lady.

Verryy naiice!

So there I am, sitting inside my room in my underwear that looks more like a fucking speedo, when my mom knocks on the door. Usually I don't care, I walk around in my underwear whenever it's unbearably hot, and it's my mom so I didn't really care. I open the door, and my mom just happens to be showing the house to a potential buyer. It happened to be this hot asian chick, quite possibly in her mid to late 20's. And despite my then-current attire, my mom insisted on coming inside and showing her the room. FUCKING HELL! So I had to quickly close the door, put on my pants and shirt and then leave the room asap. The chick was smiling and apologized for the inadvertent intrusion. Goddamnit!

I've never personally considered myself to be a leader in any sense of the word. Usually I wait for things to get done, and occasionally I follow and adhere to decisions, but I never figured myself out to be capable of being a leader, per se. I think my mindset has a lot to do with my childhood and the way I was raised; my mom pampering me for much of my life, I always figured it was her fault more than mine. Perhaps leadership is innate; perhaps people are born leaders, but I think that's garbage. I think leadership is acquirable but it requires a sound environment for it to obtained in. Given the circumstances, I think I have every right to question the notion of me having any leadership qualities, but I don't think it needs to continue to be that way. It might also have a lot to do with the fact that people never take me seriously even when I offer a valid opinion. I don't demand my response to be heard, but perhaps I should if I want things to change. I think the next few weeks will really determine how well I carry myself prominently in the future.

Fuck you, you putrid pile of rank feces. You've fucked me over more than anything and I hope I can repay you back; bludgeoning every hate-filled orifice into oblivion, you cock sucking mother fucker!

I don't feel vindicated by the above statements; I think shit happens to good people all the time, and I don't think a god exists. If he did, I'd fucking haul his ass till he bled on my fucking feet. You hear that Almighty?! fuck you, cockstain!

I feel a bit better. bit better? more like bitter. To all those getting lucky, while I wallow in my misfortune--fuck you. Some of you deserve it, and I am happy for you. To the others, I hope you get gangrene and loathe your own existence.

fucking philistines: you deserve nothing; you're boring and worthless. You deserve pain and anguish in every form

Life is inconclusive.