A few days ago, I had gone to the doctor to try and get him to do something about my ear infection that, initially, only caused pus to discharge, but later on turned into blood and pus (my ear has improved after the antibiotics, btw). I then asked him about my MRI date and that since I had seen the specialist nearly 6 months ago--and he told me that it would be a 3-6 month wait period--that I should have gotten a date by now. Well, I hadn't so I asked him, and he said that the specialist is responsible for setting that up for me. Today I called the specialist and it said on my record that the doctor's office had been faxed a note to set the date up for me and that I should go talk to them--FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!

I've been, at times, painstakingly getting through the days hoping for the MRI date so that I could take one step closer to getting my mother fucking knee fixed. And now I have to wait atleast another 3-6 months for this shit?! I am so fucking angry right now, I don't even know what to say.

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

edit: looks like they've misplaced (lost?) my chart, so they don't even know what to do now.

Ignoring the glaring--yet famous--split infinitive, I was thinking today, whilst volunteering, whether it's more important to be an idealist or a realist. I am a realist in many facets of my life; however, when in school, I always try to shoot for the stars and, perhaps, bite off more than I can chew. The fact is, I can't control everything. If I see a student struggling, I want to offer my help. If that student rejects my offer--not because he/she doesn't need help; but, because he/she doesn't want MY help--should I still care? Before today my answer would have been yes; however, right now I am a bit indifferent. I think the most that I can really do is extend my arm and offer a helping hand. If a student is vehemently reluctant, then I can't do much more. Today I was rather annoyed that a couple of students didn't want my help even though they knew I could explain the topic really well to them. They were perfectly fine with either getting lesser help from their shitty friends or not doing the work at all. Fine with me. I guess it's just part of the learning experience. The thing is, as a volunteer, I feel compelled to help constantly. When I am not needed--or worse, not wanted--I feel awkward and out of place. It sucks because I am in it for the rewarding experience and when I don't get that, I get bummed out.

This isn't a huge deal, but it was kind of bothersome today having felt that. From now on, I will just walk around and if someone needs help, I will help them. Even if I see them noticeably struggling, I don't think I'll do anything about it. On a similar note, some kids are very fucking arrogant. If you don't know something, don't pretend like you do. I can see through your shitty little facade and you're not fooling anyone. Deep down, I kind of want those kids to fail at life if they never improve their attitudes. I had to learn the hard way and so should they--fucking clowns.

That ends this post.

I had a great idea for a blog post today; however, I have since forgotten and I don't really care to try too hard to try and remember what it was. What a shame...oh well.

It's been a fairly productive week. I am really enjoying what I do right now. The more and more I do it, the more I feel like I am already a teacher--sorta. I find that one of the reasons I am fairly good at teaching to highschool kids (particularly grade 10) is because I can relate to them and vice versa. Also, grade 10 is about the level where most kids are in that transition phase of maturity. Some are goners; some are well beyond their years. But for the most part, everyone is having to make adjustments because the scrutiny level has increased substantially. I think that's why I can relate to them the best.

Grade 8s are new and diminutive. They've just relinquished their roles as the big fishes in the pond. They are now seemingly insignficant in the highschool foray. Grade 12s already know, by that point, where their interests lie. They either want to fuck, or get into university--or both (though more of the former). The fact is, you can't really teach grade 12s. Grade 8s are still too kiddish for me to really make a difference. But with grade 10s, that's where I can--and intend to--make the most difference.

Today, I noticed a couple of the grade tens wanted some of my man juice. They were explicitly implicit--like most girls--and I tried my best to remain ignorant about it. I can't help it if I am that sexy, goddamnit.

This "week of hell" is actually turning out to be a major success so far. I still need to get all my application stuff in gear; however, I am very happy thus far.

That ends this post.

I just realized, yet again, how awesome I am. I had almost forgotten, but nope, not this time. I fucking rule!

Well, today I taught the beginning chapter on motion for the science 10 class. I taught two blocks of science 10 of the same material, and I must admit that it went fairly smoothly. The first session didn't go as well as I had planned because I wasn't exactly sure what to expect. In my experience, nothing really goes to plan and even if I really try to make sure that it does, it doesn't. So it's pretty much something that I've accepted. The second lesson, however, went great. I got the kids engaged and I was making sure to include as many students as possible in discussing scalars and vectors. From everything I've experienced in this highschool and even other areas of my life, I really hate it when someone gets left out. Either left out of a funny discussion or an important task. It's never enjoyable being on the outside looking in. I've always tried to incorporate as many people in the discussion as possible, and that wasn't about to change for this task of mine.

The only problem the second time around was that the kids were a lot cheekier this time around. That, and given the fact that I didn't know most of the kids' names, made it a tad arduous. I didn't really have an issue with the material and I definitely got their attention with my natural awesomeness.

The teacher had some great words of encouragement and his feedback was excellent. I hadn't expected him to provide as much feedback as he had done; however, I wasn't about to let it go to waste. It really helped me when doing the second task and I am extremely glad that I did it.

On that note, I decided not to do teach the lessons for wednesday and Friday. The main reasons being that there is simply too much effort that goes into lesson planning on short notice. And besides, it's not really my class so there's no reason to place undue pressure on myself to get that shit done. So yeah, that was my day today and I feel very accomplished at the moment.

Now, onto more lesson planning for the PEPS program. :(

that ends this post.

So starting tomorrow, the Week of hell commences. I like to call it that because that is precisely what I expect it to be. I will be doing two blocks of teaching for a science 10 class on monday, wednesday and friday. That's 6 classes that I'll be teaching. All on the physics units (yay for me). It helps to know that the regular teacher doesn't have a problem with this because the material is kind of foreign to him. That's fine. I don't have an issue with that. The problem is coming up with lesson plans with very little time left to do so. In addition to that, I have to come up with lesson plans for the PEPS program for both tuesday and wednesday and those ones are going to be a lot more difficult. In addition, I have work and school, and this week is going to be brutal. Oh well, the experience gained should look very impressive on my application. Interestingly enough, I didn't need to do all this at all. I could have gotten by by just doing the bare minimum and I would have been just fine. I asked for all of this, and now I have it. I just hope I don't fuck it up.

That ends this post.

I am so utterly drunk right now that I am typing as slow as possible so that I don't make any typing errors (typos). I can't even see the fucking screen right now because i am so fucking drunk. FUCK! I don't hate nearly as many people as I "may" think that I do. Peace the fuck out--TAA

My dad had a seizure of some sort today. Was watching tv and then just collapsed onto the floor and was shuddering. Doesn't remember a thing except that he was watching cricket--even remembers the score--and then only remembers waking up in the hospital. The CT scans didn't reveal anything, but it could be some sort of neurological defect. Had my mom not been in the kitchen when it happened, no clue what would be of my dad right now. She was initially supposed to take the 5 o'clock ferry to Victory which means she would have left by around 3:30. He had collapsed around 3:45. Even though he angers me a lot, he's still my dad and it was somewhat scary knowing that I could've easily gone home today and he may have not been alive. My mom believes it's an act of providence or whatever bullshit. I am not religious and now she's asking him to become scriptually religious to prevent this from happening again. *face palm*. Whatever, I don't exactly have the right to talk.

So I feel institutionalized. School has played a huge part in making me that way and it's fair to say that it's true. Maybe that's one of the reasons that I wanted to become a teacher. I'll be in a familiar surrounding; one that is consistent and stable. Are we conditioned to want these things? Or is there also some genetic predisposition to wanting stable and familiar jobs? I don't think you can teach someone to live a life of excitement. The observations to suggest that don't seem very conclusive. Eitherways, it's a bittersweet feeling most of the time. Not much more to say than that.

That ends this post.

But I totally appreciate everyone as much as i've always appreciated them in the past and present. The fact of the matter is that I dunno...I don't always show that I give a shit about someone but I do, even if I don't explicitly say that I do. Enjoy everything that you have and fuck as much as possible without regretting it. "God" bless all you mother fuckers!

I should have already blogged about this; however, I am terrible at remembering the topics that I want to blog about, so naturally I forgot. I was just reading Jesse's (no clue who this guy is, but meh) blog and his take on the movies of the decade and damn, the amount of effort it must have taken to do that in such a painstaking manner is impressive.

I love movies--of the foreign and domestic varieties--and I love discussing them; however, it's difficult for me to concentrate on particulars which is fairly quintessential in writing thought-provoking and insightful reviews. However, I don't have the time or the skill to do that, so I'll be brief about my movie-watching endeavours.

So without further ado, here are a list of movies that I've recently watched and my fruitful, yet brief take on them.

Avatar: Absolutely fantastic visuals. Normally, 3-D effects and premature hype don't have the slightest positive effects on me. I don't usually care about what the general public thinks. I am even more apathetic towards blockbuster movies that thrive on special effects. However, that being said, James Cameron is someone who I absolutely admire. He re-defined the story-telling-mixed-with-amazing-special-effects genre with Terminator 2. That easily has to be one of the most epic installments of sci-fi in the history of film-making. He revolutionized it then, and he has done so yet again. The story is derivative, as already mentioned elsewhere. But I didn't care for that. I am a firm believer that it's less important what a story is specifically about rather than how it goes about it. It wasn't original, but it wasn't bad. It was well-executed and thoroughly engaging despite its predictability. Thumbs WAY UP.

Moon: Simply an astounding movie. Movies like this rarely come about because there isn't much of a demand for it. The directors who have been making movies for years aren't likely to change their ways. The good ones who have a stunning amount of versatility will likely sign on to do massive projects where their works can permeate all facets of cinema where an amalgam of critical and commercial success can be formed. So naturally, the only environment conducive to Moon's success is to have a rookie director, without a glorious history in film-making and with an ambitious verve for art and story-telling, to get the job done. Moon is a movie whose success is not predicated on plot or effects. Its true worth lies in the understanding of its premise and its admiration for its own appreciation. It made no difference how the movie ended; I found it thoroughly engaging throughout even if I hadn't known it at the time. Thumbs WAY up.

500 days of summer: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a fantastic actor and deserves an amazing amount of praise for his work in this movie. I am a bit tired right now, so I don't quite want to get into too much detail, but all I need to say is that this movie is fantastic. Its humour is subtle without being facetious. It's compelling without being too serious and it has many moments that hit very close to home. Thumbs way up

I also saw the lookout, but I am too tired to blog about that. It also stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and he's fantastic in that as well.

That ends this post.