I've always figured I was interesting. More interesting than anyone else I know. At least that's the main reason I attribute for my midnight bedtime-monologues. Is it possible, however, that when you're with someone, and you're having a great time, that the person that you're with may not find you that interesting at all? Even if the conversation encompasses several aspects of interests for both parties--or atleast seems as such--is there a chance that you're not as interesting as you think?

I don't know why I am being vague; it's not like the people here that read it are going to judge me anymore than they already have. Basically Jane used to think that our entire conversations over MSN (perhaps even in person) used to be primarily sexual and lacked diversity. This isn't far-fetched, but I did not think this was the case since I enjoyed my time speaking with her about these and many other things. Truth be told, it was difficult to talk to her about certain things because she just wasn't very honest.

It just somewhat perplexes me that perhaps the main reason she may not have gone out with me was because perhaps she did not find me interesting enough. I don't care if she found me unattractive, unsanitary (foul odor or what not) or simply just did not feel the chemistry with me, but to think that she may have found me uninteresting hurts a lot more. Of course, I don't really know the entire story behind this. The fact is, she agreed to go on a date with someone she knew a lot less just to find out that they perhaps didn't have much in common; or the fact that she didn't really give me much of a shot like she did for that someone else; or the fact that that someone did not tell me about it.

There are plenty of reasons to feel weird about it. The good thing is that I am over her. I have no feelings towards her what-so-ever, but some proper closure would have been nice, I guess. Though she was not the most honest person. In fact, for someone as open as she was, she was one of the most dishonest people I'd ever met. At least with genuinely dishonest people, you know not to trust them and their succubus ways. I guess I am mildly bitter over the situation still. But then again, I have every right to be.

Good thing that cunt can't read any of this.