I dunno why I feel this way. Okay, I need to get it out here before I let it brood inside of me or get it out in the open in a really bad way.

I dunno what it is. Every other day I always get these weird doubts about my relationship. Tonight seems like a real eye opener.

I don't even know how to feel about it. The relationship has definitely been moving too quickly. I knew it from the start and it's my fault that I've pushed it this far. Yeah, I could keep up with her if I tried to, but do I even want to anymore.

I figured she was low maintenance and just enjoyed the little things, but now it feels as though she's not nearly as low maintenance as I had originally thought. She's quite obvious when she dislikes something. She doesn't hold back and is very stubborn about it. Being low maintenance is about not expecting much. It's about not requiring my attention nearly as much as I am inclined to give it to her.

She cuts me off mid-ramble and I fucking hate that. I like to ramble, it's one of the things that I just do. She rambles herself, and I like that because it reminds me of myself. But she denies that she rambles and she openly doesn't feel bad about cutting me off. Fuck that shit.

I dunno. Just yesterday we had a great time. Depressing movie aside, I felt really comfortable around her and we had a great time.

Today, I feel like it was okay until she called me and started talking about bullshit. We got into a couple arguments that aren't even worth discussing. I feel like I'd have to make most of the compromises in a dispute because she's more stubborn than me. Why the fuck should I have to yield. Maybe I've been too nice. I only ever speak about when I am not nice but never show it and I am always trying to not offend her. This is exactly the kind of shit I did not want in a relationship. It's all very depressing; I don't even know how I feel about it all.

I disliked how she said that opposites attract and that we're opposite. We're not the opposite; in fact, we're similar in more ways than I even want now. She always seems to get her way and does not listen to logic. This is not supposed to show this early in a relationship. I feel sick just thinking about this shit. Why did I set this up so high with everyone. It's unfair to them and to me.

I could easily get annoyed with some of the things she says and easily cut her off when she rambles but I don't. I don't get how she can do this so early in the relationship. I wonder if this had anything to do with the divorce that she had. Perhaps I am not thinking straight. All I know is that I don't even feel like giving her a good morning or a good night right now.

It's an awful feeling that I really regret having. I think I am going to have to let her know how I feel. And I've gotta stop being a pushover. I am giving in little by little every time and I feel like I am offending her at times when I try to say something. Why the fuck does she have these apprehensions? Why the hell does she let out a nervous laugh when she talks about something serious. It's like she's afraid of getting hurt or something.

I can't break up with her like this though. I have to let her know how I feel and see if she's ready to make the necessary changes. I just need to fucking sleep and think this over.